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This is a rush transcript from “Gutfeld!,” March 25, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Oh, well hello there, beautiful. It’s me, Greg. It’s Friday. It couldn’t come soon enough. I don’t have plans for the weekend. But I know Brian Kilmeade does.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
BRIAN KILMEADE, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: That was me?
GUTFELD: Yes. That’s you. Brian writes the books that make you think, what’s on T.V. Anyway, this monologue isn’t about Brian go away. Or the Supreme Court hearings. That’s a done deal. But it gave us one a priceless nugget.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. MARSHA BLACKBURN (R-TN): Can you provide a definition for the word woman?
KETANJI BROWN JACKSON, SUPREME COURT NOMINEE: Can I provide a definition or no?
JACKSON: I can’t.
BLACKBURN: You can’t?
JACKSON: Not in this context. I’m not a biologist.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: That shouldn’t be a tough question to answer. If someone asked me, hey, Greg, what is a woman? I just show him this picture. Yes. She still makes me tingle and all the wrong places. But why was it so hard for a judge to answer this question? Because we’ve let the woke take the clearest distinctions in life and destroy it. And now people are terrified of facts. It’s part of the left’s trifecta, create victims, create new reasons to call people bigots and give college professors something to waste time on.
USA Today came to Jackson’s defense, but totally screwed it up by using nothing but gender studies scholars. Yes, there are scholars in gender studies. That’s like being a tall munchkin. In the health and wellness section. Ironically, the headline reads, Marsha Blackburn ask Ketanji Brown Jackson to define women. Science says there’s no simple answer. Yes, the same folks who came up with the phrase follow the science, then ignore their own advice when it doesn’t benefit their politics.
So, I guess we can’t call Jackson the first black woman Supreme Court justice, because according to them, she might not be a woman. But in reality, what is female has been a simple question for the 300,000 years humans have existed. It’s only in the last decade that idiots have turned it into a trick question on a biology test. And why? Because they prefer ideology over biology.
So, there’s no way to clearly define what makes someone a woman. Well, I got an idea to put this debate to rest, ask 100 men off the street. They’ll define a woman as a human being who has a nurturing side. Who can be emotionally strong as a bull, who will always have your back forever and maybe the most beautiful creatures on earth but who can’t parallel park. A sexist would say, but this is where USA Today screwed up.
They interviewed only gender studies experts on questions of biology. That’s like interviewing Dana Perino on death metal. And they all said Jackson was wrong to even cite biology. You thought Jackson was woke? When it comes to defining a woman compared to these zombies? She’s Andrew Dice Clay. But this is from the freaks who brought you two plus two doesn’t have to equal four.
So, they believe that judge punted by referring to biology. According to gender studies professor Rebecca Jordan-Young, there’s not even a singular biological answer to what is a female. Sarah Richardson another gender expert says science cannot settle what are really social questions. So, your sex is social, not biological. And I thought Bill Clinton was phony for trying to redefine what is his.
No wonder dudes can share women’s locker rooms, use female restrooms, and male perverts can move into female prisons. Its sex is just a social thing. You can do or say almost anything. That way a fact changes from what is to what people say it is. And biology which is based in absolutes is as unwelcome as Katie Pavlich at a PETA rally. Gender studies is like astrology. With astrology you look up to the skies and make up stuff.
With gender studies you look down in the locker room and then deny reality. Julia Williams and other gender expert says white supremacy denied that black women and women of color were female. Well, then wouldn’t you then embrace biology which refutes that. You know, if you think about it, she’s using horrible racism to justify a racing women. That logic moves backwards quicker than me in the ring with Tyrus.
TYRUS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Smart man.
GUTFELD: Yes, I am. They then deny reality regarding Lia Thomas. The trans swimmer who’s creaming biological females in the pool. Gender Professor Kate Mason says lots of people are assigned male at birth have higher testosterone levels, it could never make a division one swimming team. Why do we attribute Thomas’s current success to her assigned sex rather than to her long record as an elite swimmer?
Well, you dope, because she was an OK male swimmer who’s now beating outstanding female swimmers. Precisely because they don’t have the innate muscle mass. Her aside maleness gave her, you dope. She conflates all males not being better swimmers than elite women to deny the fact that a mediocre male can dominate the female ranks. How nuts is that? And pardon me for saying nuts. I mean, that kind of squirrels eat.
This nonsense makes me testy. I’m sorry. So, what defines a woman? In the article they say embracing reproductive justice, fighting the inequality of investment in girls sports and wage discrimination. Again, it’s not biology, it’s ideology which means a female could go her whole life without being female because she didn’t obey the doctrines of gender studies graduates. That’s intellectual fascism, not biology. And I say that as a proud woman of color.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.
GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. He’s like Death Valley, dry, lifeless and deuces a heat rash. Host of “ONE NATION” on Saturday nights at 8:00, Brian Kilmeade. That smattering of applause.
KILMEADE: It wasn’t the best introduction.
GUTFELD: Shut up. Like residents fleeing California. She’s constantly packing. Fox News Contributor and townhall.com editor, Katie Pavlich. She’s like my refrigerator, cold and empty, except for beer. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. And his shoe size is minivan. My massive sidekick and the NWA’s World Television Champion, Tyrus. Welcome to the show, Brian.
KILMEADE: Thank you for having me, I guess.
GUTFELD: So, I think this is the fourth show you’ve done today. But let’s get down to it. You know, you are into sports. Have you ever considered — I mean, you have the hips to identify as a woman and try it for the girls Olympic soccer team because you love soccer.
GUTFELD: I think you can do it.
KILMEADE: Well, thanks for believing in me. Number one, and noticing my hips because it’s been a goal of mine. So, I think we’re being trolled. I believe this whole conversation is so out of left field like I look at the story of (INAUDIBLE) I hope it goes away today. Because I hate being mean to people unlike OK, you.
KILMEADE: And Lia Thomas — I mean, she’s getting booed in the pool.
GUTFELD: I hate that.
KILMEADE: She’s already had a probably a challenging life and now she wins total silence and then she comes in last the rest of the tournament, obviously throws in the street. But the crazy thing that makes it so hard to get around is, if you’re putting down men, it’s OK. But we’re trying to say OK, it’s not about me. It’s about women. So, is it fair to women? And that has people’s head ready to explode.
And then finally, women are speaking up and saying, it’s not fair to my kid. It’s not fair to me that she is beating me because six months ago, she was a man beating me, now she’s a woman and I don’t think I made any sense.
GUTFELD: Now you did. You did. I hate — I hate getting booed at the pool. You got to put in an extra bathroom. I never have chili before you swim. Katie —
KATIE PAVLICH, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Ignore those no — coming in the pool with that problem sign.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes.
GUTFELD: Please define what a woman is since Brian has never seen one outside “FOX AND FRIENDS.”
PAVLICH: Yes, yes. I think if you asked a lot of teenage boys too, they’d be, like, I don’t know what a woman is either, Brian. It’s totally fine. Scientifically, a woman is a human being who’s an adult who has 2x chromosomes. That’s the easiest scientific way to put it. I’m really glad that judge wasn’t asked something like complicated about the constitution, like define emoluments or something like that when she’s supposed to be interpreting the law in the U.S. Constitution.
And I think people are — who are opposed to her nomination. It’s not necessarily that they’re opposed to her, obviously, but they do have questions of, if you can’t define woman, how are you supposed to look at the law and interpret more complicated issues, especially when women are deeply embedded in the law when it comes to the issue of abortion or Title IX. One thing I want to say about Lia Thomas, a year and a half ago, Lia Thomas was Will Thomas swimming on the men’s team. So, this is not like a lifelong situation here.
KILMEADE: See what I’m talking about?
GUTFELD: What? About women?
KILMEADE: This is the crazy story.
KILMEADE: I mean, what are we talking about? I mean —
GUTFELD: I mean, what’s with these women?
KILMEADE: I know.
KILMEADE: Why there’s so many on the set?
GUTFELD: I don’t know man. If she just destroyed you, dude (INAUDIBLE) chick, man.
GUTFELD: We got to go get some beers after this.
KILMEADE: Right. And find out what a woman really.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes. I don’t even know what that means.
KILMEADE: I will never get beers.
GUTFELD: No, you would, I can’t stand you.
KILMEADE: Gutfeld did not want to do it.
GUTFELD: You know, Kat, are you surprised that there were that many gender studies experts to be interviewed? It seems like all of them, all they do is get interviewed by reporters.
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: They’re probably not busy. They’re not like —
TIMPF: Yes. They’re not like ICU nurses. Like, I’m sure they were available for the call whenever.
GUTFELD: Yes, that’s true. But they — that’s all they interviewed. I think that means that my — that USA Today might have had an ulterior motive.
TIMPF: Absolutely. And I — look, I think the reason why this stupid have an answer to the question where it came from because it was, it upset conservatives for the obvious reasons. But then these gender studies professors were also upset because she brought biology into it.
TIMPF: And the reason why was because she was terrified to answer the question, which I’ve admitted before, I get — whenever I’m asked about gender, even though I do have a gender, I just — my brain is like danger, danger, danger. Because when you talk about this issue, there’s people like waiting to pounce on you for saying the wrong thing. And you’re not allowed in the public square anymore, which is the worst thing ever for everyone.
That’s not the same thing as acceptance.
TIMPF: To make people terrified to speak about something.
TIMPF: The only true terror to the point where you blackout is what could have happened to give an answer like that.
GUTFELD: Yes. The — what you’re talking about now is that we always worry about this external censorship but now it’s internal censorship. I love the fact that that article was in the health and wellness section, there was nothing healthy or well about that.
TYRUS: No. And — well, it couldn’t have been the intellectual section either. Because, as you read this article, you get stupider. I was drooling on myself and trying to peel a banana back, I couldn’t figure it out after I read it. So, not only is to define what a woman is, and doable, it’s also apparently racist.
TYRUS: So, they — yes, yes. They — yes, I think they found a way to link this one.
KILMEADE: I know. Right in the middle.
TYRUS: So, back when racism was fashionable, and you white folks didn’t like sharing bathrooms, you were very direct and clear on who could use what bathroom,
TYRUS: And they said, white women only not black women. So, therefore, they were saying that black women weren’t women. And I just wanted to say, no, they acknowledged they were women. They just didn’t want black women. See? Racism was about the color of skin. They didn’t care if they were packing ovaries or not. So —
GUTFELD: Packing ovaries.
KILMEADE: In fact, ovaries are always with you.
PAVLICH: You wouldn’t know, right?
TIMPF: I know. I like you to keep talking.
TYRUS: Packing is like I — if I’m packing a gun, it’s on me.
KILMEADE: Got it.
TYRUS: That’s what it means. You understand? You — before the show told me you were in in the rap game and you were accepted and then you mess this up.
KILMEADE: That was before the show.
TYRUS: So, I’m sure you’re going to have an interesting text message going, you don’t know what packing is? You’re back to folk music.
TYRUS: But I would just like to say, on behalf of men everywhere to the people who — the external people will keep doing this. Shut the (BLEEP) up. We know what a woman is. Move on.
GUTFELD: There you go. All right. Up next, is our military preoccupied with hair and nails instead of fitness fails?
GUTFELD: Are the few in the crowd switching to anything’s allowed and will our military be ready without getting a mani-pedi? That’s good. As part of a push for more diversity and inclusion, the U.S. Marine Corps has approved several uniform changes because if there’s one cornerstone to the Marines, it’s letting people do their own thing. On that list, Marines can grow their hair up to three inches instead of two.
And edge it up to make for neater haircuts. They can now wear black or all of socks in addition to brown, yay. But the exciting part, female Marines can now wear two-tone nail polish. Although it must be in shades of pink or red that “complements skin tone.” Oh, that’ll make for a sexy salute. Now, of course, plenty of people are calling all these changes woke B.S. Maybe it is or maybe it’s changing with the times.
Speaking of changes in the armed forces, the army has dropped its plans to have a six-event physical fitness test that is gender and age neutral. Apparently, men were passing the test at a much higher rate than women and older soldiers now who would be allowed to pass while meeting some reduced standards. Hmm. It says, if biological males have a mysterious advantage when it comes to physical strength.
Good thing they never compete against women. That was like a callback, Brian. We dot that —
GUTFELD: I know you —
TYRUS: His job.
GUTFELD: It’s — I know it’s early in the morning when you do your show. You don’t do that sort of thing.
KILMEADE: How did you know I have — I have a morning show? I don’t even — I don’t.
PAVLICH: In a a couple hours.
GUTFELD: Yes, that’s true. You know, Katie, I’m going to go to you first. First of all, we should be — we should always salute the people who enlist.
PAVLICH: Yes, of course.
GUTFELD: Is this like — I mean, does it really matter the stuff? I mean, if it’s like — if, you know, it’s weird, because like usually these institutions shape the people. But now it’s people shaping the institution.
PAVLICH: Yes. That is correct analysis. So, on the updated regulations, are we really that worried about them changing from black socks, olive green socks. I mean (INAUDIBLE) much variety with what they’re changing. But the physical fitness is, I think, a problem.
PAVLICH: If you want to win a war, people got to be in shape. And I’m not sure if this is a result of them not being able to find qualified recruits. Because if you look at the pool of people available who are signing up, the majority of them can’t pass a physical fitness test. So, they’ve lowered the standard. That’s a big problem. But I think, you know, enemies looking around the world are going oh, great, the United States of America is lowering basic fitness standards. I think we’ll be OK if we decide to go in against our military.
GUTFELD: It’s OK if the rest — if the rest of the planet is doing the same thing but I’m not sure they will.
PAVLICH: No, they won’t.
GUTFELD: Here’s the counterpoint, Tyrus. Is this really a problem if basically, the future of war might come down to just pushing buttons and drones? I mean, that’s perfect for any body composition even Kilmeade’s.
TYRUS: OK. First of all (INAUDIBLE) the man is physically fit. You see the size of the backpack he walks (INAUDIBLE)
PAVLICH: All his books.
TYRUS: You got to work. That’s a —
KILMEADE: That was almost a compliment.
TYRUS: It is, man. I —
KILMEADE: So close.
TYRUS: I respect that your backpack game is strong. Here’s the problem. The NFL, the NBA, you have to be a certain level of athletic skill doing, right? The army, the Marines are the same way. You are defending the country. You are in some cases being dropped off in the middle of nowhere. And there’s a good chance you don’t have a French manicure when you hit the ground that glares off the lights of the enemy’s things.
I’m just — I’m just speculating here. And I don’t think women and the Marines were really doing cartwheels and jumping up and down going, hey, we can get our nails done. They’re worried about staying alive and saving people. So, again, this is more of the same of that external group who tried to change things instead of saying, hey, stop being so chubby, get off your ass, you got to train and you might not get in to be able to defend this country if you’re not in shape.
Instead, it’s oh, well, their stuff is too hard. It hasn’t been too hard to make us the safest nation in the world. We have the number one military on the planet. Actually, I think were the top five, because people sacrificed and work their ass off to get in here to earn the right to wear that uniform. It’s not just they — people just want things given to them now. So, oh, I can’t do 10 chin ups but I should be able to defend my country.
No, you shouldn’t until you take the time and energy and do those chin ups. Get your ass in gear and then get there.
GUTFELD: You know, Kat, even though you’re a half a veteran, do you think you would fail every single test even with the lower standards?
TIMPF: I know. I know I would.
GUTFELD: Yes. I would love to see you do one chin up.
TYRUS: I bet she could.
GUTFELD: I don’t think so.
TYRUS: You give us — you give us a week —
TIMPF: Hello, there’s no way.
TYRUS: She’s wiry.
TIMPF: (INAUDIBLE) that’s disgusting.
TYRUS: No. Kat, the hell with him, enough of this next week, you’re doing a chin up.
TYRUS: And if she doesn’t chin up, he has to apologize.
GUTFELD: You know when you look at her — look at her arm. Just look at it. Keep it up like that. Look how long it is. No, just the —
TIMPF: It’s really long.
TIMPF: My mom thinks that’s Ritalin stunted my growth and I’m like you put me on it.
GUTFELD: You’re like a praying mantis.
TYRUS: Long muscles are —
KILMEADE: Are there yours?
GUTFELD: Slushie praying mantis. I never really noticed this before.
TIMPF: It’s like a little mosquito bite on like a string of spaghetti right here.
TYRUS: Kat, long muscles are great for boxing and chin ups.
PAVLICH: I bet you could do it.
TYRUS: I bet you could do a five.
GUTFELD: It would take you an hour.
TYRUS: Bet him, let’s do something.
TIMPF: I’ve never done it. I can’t do it.
GUTFELD: All right.
PAVLICH: You can.
TIMPF: No. But — again, I don’t think military service is for me, which is why that’s why I married a veteran so I could be a half veteran.
TIMPF: But again, I don’t think this describes anyone with like the nail painting where they’re saying they want to get — they were trying to recruit more women. I don’t think there’s a single woman out there that’s like, I want to be a Marine but I can’t have a French manicure. So, I’m going to be a dentist, like I don’t think that describes anybody.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes. That’s a good point. You know, Kilmeade, the test for men of your age, 63, requires a two-mile run in about 23 minutes. Could you fail that test?
KILMEADE: No, I’m great at long distance. I did a couple of things.
KILMEADE: H.R. called, you violate everything on every page the entire handbook. Put up your arm, let me judge you, oh my goodness. I cannot believe. I think I’m somehow an accomplice just by being on the set.
GUTFELD: We’re going to edit it, so you’re safe.
KILMEADE: All right. Are you ready for this? Try to follow me.
KILMEADE: If you believe this is different in a man and a woman then you cannot have a problem with two versions of that test. Because women can’t compete physically with men. And if you believe that in the A block and your B block to be consistent, there should be two separate tests.
KILMEADE: He actually gave you a second, Katie.
PAVLICH: He did.
KILMEADE: I had one second. I had you thinking. Go ahead.
GUTFELD: No. I was actually — it’s actually a really good point. And then that — but then that goes to the next point is like then what do you have to separate armies?
PAVLICH: I mean, there are separate — like there are not — there are separate duties and separate units obviously.
GUTFELD: I guess they should be in the military kitchen, Katie.
PAVLICH: Maybe they should, you know.
GUTFELD: Yes. Kat’s long arms. Keep all the — all the pots and pans.
KILMEADE: Right. Absolutely.
GUTFELD: So pants off the —
TIMPF: They are alarmingly low. For someone of my height.
PAVLICH: You’re tall.
GUTFELD: You’ve been bragging about your long arms. This is the first time I’ve seen that. It’s pretty.
PAVLICH: Greg, it’s not working the same way for you.
GUTFELD: No, it’s not.
GUTFELD: All right. Up next. Will robber seize the day if you’re wearing too much cardi A?
JONATHAN HUNT, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CHIEF CORRESPONDENT: This is a Fox News Alert. I’m Jonathan Hunt live in Lviv, Ukraine, the fighting not letting up as we enter the second month of this war. Smoke billowing into the Kyiv sky after Russian missiles hit a key fuel depot there. This is Ukrainians continue their counter offensive in various suburbs around the Capitol. And local officials now say 300 men, women and children were killed last week when Russian forces struck that theater turned refugee shelter in Mariupol.
An enormous inscription reading children was posted outside the theater in Russian, but it was struck anyway. And President Biden meeting with U.S. troops in Poland, telling them that the stakes of the Ukraine will go well beyond its borders. Tomorrow, he’ll visit refugees and deliver what’s being billed as a major address. I’m Jonathan Hunt, now back to Gutfeld.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Tired of getting robbed? L.A. police says dress like a slob? Yes, they say dress like a popper and you’ll be a Crime Stopper. In L.A. violent armed robberies as opposed to polite, well- mannered armed robberies are up 44 percent since last year. It’s gotten so bad that they formed a new task force to deal with the problem. But that police chief wants the law abiding to do their part as well.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MICHEL MOORE, LAPD CHIEF: What we’re asking the public to, to be mindful of is that with these increases, that if they’re going to wear expensive jewelry, or as they are involved in perhaps driving high end cars, leaving restaurants, taverns, other locations, that to be mindful of their surroundings, that they remain in well-lit areas.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Well-lit areas. Judging by security cam footage, criminals don’t seem concerned about street lights, or even daylight, but they want you to be careful leaving taverns. Also, be careful when you’re leaving alehouses, salons, and speakeasies you may be set upon by desperados and highway men.
Anyway, so, it’s up to you to not get robbed mugged or murdered simply by leaving your Rolex at home and your new car in the garage. But then given their own logic, wouldn’t that increase the chances of home invasion?
Still, the onus is on the victim not to get victimized that’s why I stopped going clubbing wearing short skirts and I had great legs. But let’s hope this approach to crime doesn’t catch on or else you’re going to see a lot more of this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh my god. Officer, thank God you hear this guy just stole my watch.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Whoa, whoa, whoa — slow down. Slow down. What the hell were you doing wearing a watch in 2022? That’s on you man. Just use your cell phone.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, that was in the car. They stole that too.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Whoa, whoa, what kind of car was it? Was it a nice car?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Some SUV.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: SUV? What do you need an SUV for? You got kids?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, OK, well if you ever do, don’t get them anything nice because people around here will steal it. Everybody knows that. Now, beat it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: That was good. That made up for the one from last night. You know, Tyrus, so a little bit about me. I have no jewelry except for one piercing which is tough because I’m in any.
TYRUS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Not, not playing. I’ve had a rough week, not holding my title crying myself to sleep one more night tonight.
GUTFELD: You know, isn’t jewelry a strange thing? I don’t get it. It’s the purest form of look at me. You don’t wear any jewelry, do you? Except for the belt, but I mean —
TYRUS: Yes, I wear a big thing — and I got a little.
TYRUS: I wore chains. That’s how you found me. And I, and I live by the wish policy, I wish someone would try to take it but we can’t — it’s just that external stuff. I feel like every story we talk about, it’s the same thing.
TYRUS: We can’t do (BLEEP) and we’ll blame it on something that’s you can never fix.
TYRUS: Don’t dress this way, and nothing will happen to you.
TYRUS: Can you imagine that, and that’s what you’re telling people instead of — and you can even hear in his voice, he was reluctant reading that, that is the white flag. That is law enforcement, putting up the white flag. Please, don’t be successful. Don’t want anything nice. Don’t, don’t take your young daughters out at night, because we can’t do anything about it.
GUTFELD: We can’t protect it.
TYRUS: So, you know, just — if you’re scared of taverns, I mean, it’s over.
BRIAN KILMEADE, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Just leaving them.
TYRUS: I mean, next thing would be like, you know, stay away from libraries, churches.
TYRUS: Don’t have any more than one pillow in your bed, that way they won’t be confused when they strangle you with them. So, the death will be swifter. Just the, that’s law enforcement throwing up the white flag because even if they stop them, they’re out in two hours. Because the woke prosecutors want to set them free. You know, and it’s, it’s sad that that’s where we’re at.
GUTFELD: You know, Kat, you were that expensive gold Cartier bracelet every single day on your very skinny arms. Does that make you a walking target?
KILMEADE: How dare you?
GUTFELD: When you leave this building at 12th Street at 6:15 p.m. every day?
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: So, you’re trying — you’re literally trying to get me killed.
TYRUS: Yes, you’re — all you’re going to do is hand her a GPS tracker?
TIMPF: Maybe because you said that I can get a car from work like you get. I’m, like, well, other than trying to get me killed. Is that like, is that all that you — I tell you.
GUTFELD: What do you, what do you — what’s your feeling?
TIMPF: I think that it’s a — I guess, it’s, it’s obviously victim blaming and the weight but it’s good for people to know, I guess. But it was crazy for him to say that without any acknowledgement of how insane it was.
TIMPF: For him to say like, hey, if you don’t want to get robbed, make sure that you don’t have anything someone might want.
TIMPF: That’s an insane thing to say to people.
GUTFELD: Yes, that means, you got to like be like Brian. You know, Brian, speaking of, you drive a Hugo to the senior rec center every day. Do you worry that your ostentatious lifestyle is — will attract smash and grabbers who envy your lifestyle?
KILMEADE: What I do is I get my used Hugo, I don’t get my new one. So, there were to keep everyone away. I think it’s unbelievable that you have nice stuff, so they’re saying for basically if you get nice stuff, keep it in your drawer and fight people over see it.
KILMEADE: And then let them go outside. But you do notice the footage that you sent me with it, most is daylight.
KILMEADE: Most of these people have been robbed of daylight in Beverly Hills, this beautiful area. So, they’re saying I can’t secure the place that they’re accused of spending too much time securing not, not even. So, they, can’t even secure the nice neighborhood.
KILMEADE: What about the challenging neighborhoods? I think it’s temporary, because I think everyone’s waking up to the fact that the criminals are running the asylum. And I think this in a year and a half you’re going to have this topic, and we’re going to have nothing to say and at the same intro, and we’re going to say no, no, Greg let’s change topics we beat crime. We solved that.
GUTFELD: I hope you’re correct.
KILMEADE: We’re wearing nice stuff. Brian’s driving his new Hugo.
GUTFELD: I hope you’re correct. I think Brian’s got a good point which is really rare so we should — but it is like this is kind of a spasm, spasm response to us. denigrating police, not us but the media for two years. So now, it’s like the cop, the cops are gone.
KATIE PAVLICH, TOWNHALL.COM EDITOR: Well, I mean, the only really nice piece of jewelry that I would carry around in that scenario is a nice handgun. And you know I have a Rolex but I got a couple of nice expensive handguns and I’ve seen really nice ones. I’ve seen nice ones with diamonds and rubies and sapphires right. But their argument this is only a nice person problem. Like they’re locking up deodorant at the Walgreens.
PAVLICH: OK. Like, they’re mugging people walking out of Walmart, like this is not just an issue of nice things. It’s affecting everybody. In fact, the people who aren’t owners of Rolexes, or nice cars are being affected the most. So, it’s such a cop out to actually solve the problem for people who: A. Can’t defend themselves because they have these gun control laws in L.A., but also in the cities across the country, as you said, they’ve demonized the police so they no longer can respond to protect people as well.
GUTFELD: Very true. Coming up, does an intense workout plan linked you to the Ku Klux Klan?
ANNOUNCER: “EVERYTHING IS RACIST.”
GUTFELD: Does doing squatsies make you a Nazi? Are you a little Hitler if you’d want to make your body fitler? Sorry, an MSNBC op-ed says the rise of at home exercise is actually a conduit for white supremacy. This from the same people who forced us to stay at home and closed all the gyms. It’s like they’re not happy with anything white supremacist do.
Will Billy Blanks be surprised? According to the author of physical fitness and far right extremists share an unhealthy obsession with masculinity, strength and competition. So, I guess a common stereotype is that black people are unathletic, and don’t like sports? But Hitler wrote about the importance of boxing and jujitsu for his military.
So, therefore, anyone into boxing, or MMA must be cool with the holocaust? This is a good time to remind the world that Hitler was a vegetarian. Mixed Martial Arts enthusiast are apparently the world’s next great terror threat because we’ve run out of other terror threats — Trump voters, truck drivers, parents.
So, now that fighters can work out over zoom that makes you vulnerable to the neo-Nazis bent on recruitment. This will be news to the Ultimate Fighting Championship where seven of eight champs are black or Latino. But I can sum up this article real easy. Why can’t you white men get fat and die already? But we’re journalists after all, so we decided to test the theory can working out make you a bigot?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You know, Tyrus, I’m getting into physical fitness. They say you’re the master. What do I got to do first?
TYRUS: That’s awesome, Gene. You know what, I would probably go with dumbbells first.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Dumbbells got it. Curls here we go. Hey, that feels nice. No wonder you’re strong as a gorilla —
TYRUS: What the hell did you just say?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What I mean to say was —
TYRUS: Get out, Gene.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Sorry.
TYRUS: Hey, Gene, you might come back here for a minute. You’re (BLEEP) fired.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Terrible. Tyrus — is this kind of a stretch?
TYRUS: No, that’s Gene. That’s Gene in a nutshell.
GUTFELD: Who wrote that? I hope you wrote that.
TYRUS: Yes. Gene wanted to say, hey, you’re doing Jheri curls, and I was like Gene, nobody born before 1965 knows of the Jheri curl. I didn’t know what it was. So, let me let me handle the racism from here. I got a lot of experience from it. That is Gene’s poor, sweet heart and disposition had no clue. Very uncomfortable. Proud of you, Gene. But, this, again, it’s everything we talked about.
TYRUS: The external. I don’t want to work out. I don’t want my friends to work out. Every commercial, everyone’s out of shape now. Everyone looks bad. You can’t, if a doctor asks you a weight, there’s something wrong with him. And there’s chubby experts that tell you how you like being super overweight and being a type two diabetic is your choice and a good thing. So, if someone’s working out, of course they’re a racist Nazi.
This is someone’s physically fit, of course, because they’re doing the work and working out at home and stuff is eliminated the excuses of the woke the who have an excuse for everything, because now they’re training at home to do this or whatever. It’s not the Nazis that are doing it. It’s just everyone, anyone who’s fitness they have a problem with because it makes themselves feel better to ruin success. Success is under attack in this country.
GUTFELD: Yes. You know, Katie, we have record rates of obesity. And I mean, make making — yes — which is a marker for all deadly diseases. So, basically, the most effective solution fitness, calling that racist how does that help minorities?
PAVLICH: Yes, right.
GUTFELD: Who could — you know, they might be overweight. You know, I work out every day, does that make me a racist?
GUTFELD: Maybe it does.
PAVLICH: It does. It does. And it defeats all of their, it defeats all of their arguments of that. So, they’ve been very concerned about COVID, right?
GUTFELD: Yes, yes.
PAVLICH: Which is good up to an extent, but they’re still holding on to it. If you’re concerned about COVID, you have to be concerned about obesity, because it’s the number one reason why people went to the hospital and died from the disease. And also, it erases the idea, as you said that minorities may want to engage in exercise just like everybody else does, and they may want to do it at home.
And it’s all just about being jealous and trying to control people’s behavior and their lives like oh, we shut down the gyms because we didn’t want people working out. And now, they’re doing it on their own and they’re finding a working out loophole. So, let’s throw a white supremacist label on it hope that people stopped doing it. I mean, what healthy person looks at that no matter what their skin color is and says, you know what, I’m going to stop working out now because it might be racist.
GUTFELD: You know, Brian, is it hard to work out in that robe?
KILMEADE: Yes, it is. It’s a well, I have to do it alone. By the way, Katie a good book. That made a lot of sense.
KILMEADE: Greg —
TYRUS: Opposed to me and Kat?
KILMEADE: Oh, so again —
PAVLICH: I’m a guest here, right?
KILMEADE: I have a theory. Can I share a theory?
GUTFELD: Yes, share a theory.
KILMEADE: The cancel culture is getting so out of control with just what you have pointed out in this show. Soon, everyone’s going to be canceled leaving the canceled, the cool people, because the normal people know what a man and woman is. The normal people know that if you’re working out, you’re not racist. The normal people don’t sit there walking around offended with everything says, so you get canceled because you fit all those categories. Next, you know, there’s more canceled people that uncanceled people, and then society rebalances.
GUTFELD: Oh, that’s an interesting thing. We’re all canceled, we’re all canceled —
KILMEADE: And then no one is — soon, no one’s going to be canceled. Except for the people canceling, there’ll be alone.
GUTFELD: Kat, is the reason why you don’t work out political statement against Nazis?
TIMPF: Yes. Yes. This just makes me want to just start writing stuff more because it’s — you can look back and be published it made no sense.
GUTFELD: Yes, it did.
TIMPF: Like I read it. I was like, I still don’t get it and it’s because it doesn’t make sense.
KILMEADE: Nothing to it.
TIMPF: It was like because Hitler like fitness? If you like fitness, you’re Hitler?
TIMPF: Like Hitler like lots of stuff.
GUTFELD: He was a vegetarian.
TYRUS: He liked painting. He liked painting.
TIMPF: He liked arts. He liked injecting drugs, you know? Yes he was —
PAVLICH: He liked killing people.
TIMPF: He didn’t drink booze, really, but he like preferred to inject drugs. So, you know he was you know, like a lot of different stuff.
TIMPF: And also, like their other evidence was some people who are Nazis workout. Yes, they do — they also do lots of stuff.
GUTFELD: Yes, it’s amazing. It is like the — this is what happens when you undermine science and biology, they can’t even see that they’re that like, that is just completely nuts.
TIMPF: This was written but then not only written but then like an editor, I assume, saw it.
TIMPF: And was like, yes, good to go.
KILMEADE: But did they win? We’re talking about it.
GUTFELD: Oh, I win because I got a segment.
KILMEADE: There you go.
GUTFELD: I always win.
TYRUS: Even when he loses.
GUTFELD: Even when I lose, I win. All right, creeping myself out. Up next, a sneak peek at a reduced work week. Yes.
ANNOUNCER: “A STORY IN FIVE WORDS.”
GUTFELD: We’re short on time. So, here’s a five-word story: Four-day work week, feasible? Kat.
TIMPF: I don’t know like this article said the same thing that I hear all the time, which is like no one on their deathbed wishes they went to the office more. But for me, it’s like if I went to the office less, I’ll be on my deathbed soon.
GUTFELD: That’s an excellent point. Brian?
KILMEADE: I would hate a four-day work week.
GUTFELD: Yes, you work all the time. Is it because you love to work or because it just takes you days to do what others can accomplish in an hour?
KILMEADE: Exactly. I’m so — it’s the lack of productivity. You actually write that? So, you write your hate speech.
KILMEADE: It is — your anti-Brian rhetoric is not even — this is, this is —
GUTFELD: I write my hate speech.
TYRUS: I think, I think he has a picture of you with burning — you, you did something. His first day here, you didn’t say hi.
GUTFELD: He was mean to me on “FOX AND FRIENDS.”
TYRUS: Well, there you go. There you go.
KILMEADE: What year, what year?
GUTFELD: 2001 — it was after 9/11. I was working at Stuff Magazine. We’ll do segment on that.
TYRUS: He holds grudges.
TYRUS: If for someone like me doesn’t work because I have 7,000 jobs, but for everyday Americans, I think it would be nice to have one more day off. I think it’s a good idea.
GUTFELD: I think, Katie, I think it’s important to have control your time. I used to do stupid, but if you can work out, you get the same productivity, why not?
PAVLICH: Yes, I think it just depends on what your job is. And if it’s government people working less, if the less they work, I think the better off we are.
KILMEADE: It’s going to be longer days.
PAVLICH: No, it’s 32 hours. It’s not 40 hours. It’s less — fewer hours and fewer days.
KILMEADE: And less productive —
GUTFELD: We produce too much.
PAVLICH: Fine, you could be just as productive in four days as five.
GUTFELD: What if it was just the media?
KILMEADE: How do you host five days a week to four days?
GUTFELD: Look, that’s what he’s thinking about. He goes, I can’t not —
TIMPF: But I don’t want to go home.
GUTFELD: I don’t want to go home. What is so awful that your home life? What is it? Do your kids yell at you like I do? Your kids are going, we love uncle Gutfeld. Kids Uncle Greg, coming over.
KILMEADE: Right. By the way is this segment about the country or me?
GUTFELD: It will always be about you.
KILMEADE: Thank you.
GUTFELD: Because you know what? You are larger than the country. You’re larger than life. Don’t go away. We’ll be right back.
GUTFELD: We are out of time. Thanks to Katie Pavlich, Brian Kilmeade, Kat Timpf, Tyrus. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with Rich Edson is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America.
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