A bride has claimed in a now-viral post that her brother and sister-in-law want her to force their “tomboy” daughter—who happens to be a bridesmaid—to wear a dress on her wedding day. The bride, however, refuses.
Posting in Reddit‘s “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) forum on Tuesday under the username u/Extreme-Break-6638, the bride asked: “AITA for telling my soon-to-be niece that she doesn’t need to wear a dress to my wedding?”
The post has garnered more than 10,000 upvotes and over 1,300 comments from upset Redditors who slammed her “entitled” brother and sister-in-law.
At the beginning of her post, the bride explained that she doesn’t know her fiancé’s niece too well. Still, she asked her to be a bridesmaid because she “seemed like a cool kid and [the bride] thought it might be a nice way for [them] to bond/ get to know each other/ involve her in the wedding.”
So naturally, when the bride and her fiancé visited his family a few weeks ago, the topic of bridesmaid dresses came up—a topic that made her “androgynously” dressed niece noticeably “uncomfortable.”
“Her parents (her mum really) and grandma were making comments about how she’d need to be more feminine/ brush her hair, etc, and how nice it would be to see her like that,” the bride wrote.
“Eventually, her mother made a comment along the lines of, ‘It’ll be nice to see you dressed like a girl for once,’ and she looked really sad/ embarrassed/ upset,” the bride continued.
The bride, upset by the comments, stepped in and told her niece that she’d given her bridesmaids the option to wear “anything they want as long as it’s in the ‘wedding color.'” The bride further explained that her niece could wear trousers, a jumpsuit, even jeans and sneakers “if that made her comfortable.”
“My niece perked up a bit when I said that but her mum looked really pissed off. She’s since asked my fiancé to pressure me into getting all the bridesmaids dresses so their daughter will have to wear one (which, lol, no),” the bride said.
According to Martha Stewart Weddings, “bridesmaid outfit etiquette has changed a lot over the years. “
“Nowadays, it’s all about embracing individuality. That means letting the bride choose bridesmaid dresses and accessories that speak to her, but also letting the bridesmaids get in on the action,” the magazine said.
Martha Stewart Weddings further explained that differing hemlines, patterns and even pants are all acceptable, modern options for bridesmaids.
“It’s time for bridesmaids to stop dreading what they’ll have to wear on the wedding day—seriously,” the magazine said.
Many commenters saw nothing wrong with u/Extreme-Break-6638 allowing her bridesmaids to wear pants, adding that her sister and brother-in-law were wrong to say otherwise.
“NTA [not the a**hole]…You are being very reasonable by allowing her to be comfortable in what she is wearing, as long as it is meeting the wedding color,” wrote u/Fun-Two-1414. “The mum is an a**hole for trying to make her daughter wear something that she would be uncomfortable in.”
“NTA because your niece’s androgynous style aside, her parents are TELLING YOU HOW YOUR BRIDESMAIDS SHOULD DRESS. The sense of entitlement to think that you would change your MoH’s outfit just for them is frankly ridiculous,” said u/FaithHopeTrick.
“NTA, lots of people are now choosing jumpsuits and other outfits over dresses for weddings now. I’m glad you told her she can pick something she feels comfortable in,” added u/Glasgowghirl67.
Newsweek has reached out to u/Extreme-Break-6638 for comment.
As it turns out, u/Extreme-Break-6638 isn’t the first bride from AITA to go viral in recent months.
Last month, a Japanese bride caught the forum’s attention after sharing her desire to wear a traditional wedding kimono during her ceremony, something her mother-in-law claimed wouldn’t “fit” the wedding’s “theme.”
In March, Redditors backed a bride who claimed she refused to let her 3-year-old niece wear a white dress to her wedding.
And in January, a bride went viral for admitting that she didn’t want to invite her aunt to her wedding due to a decade-old incident.